Happy Burfday To Ya!

Happy Burfday to me... happy birthday to me. Happy Burfday!

Yesssssss the world was blessed to come to now MzNikki 30 (shut up! I can turn 30 as many years in a row as I want, so neh!) years ago today. It's been a helluva ride, and the good LORD knows my ass has had fun. Take care and G-d bless all my crazee ass nigrettas and nigrettos out thurre!

'Tis Almost the Season

Today is November 6th, and I just have one question: Where the hell did the time go? I'm already busy gettin' my holiday hustle on, so ya'll gonna have to excurse me if I disappear from the blog again for a hot minute. The Dealer says he's on strike this year because he always looses all of his fingerprints from the tape used to hold up the lights, but he knows that if he don't put them lights up he gets none of my goodies. Hmph. Complainin' ass knows he loves the lights just as much as the rest of us.

Is it just me, or does Thanksgiving always become the forgotten holiday? I get excited about Chanukah and Christmas, but Thanksgiving is actually the most work intensive holiday. Lawd knows my Brown ass be in the kitchen from Monday morning until Wednesday night gettin' my cook on, so by the time dinnertime rolls around, my ass is too tired to eat... anything. Christmas/Chanukah is mild in comparison. I'm in and out of the kitchen in 2 days and still have the time and energy to go visitin' to everybody's houses... and get my sip on too! ;)

I'm about to say bah hmbug and go sit my ass down somewhere... aww who the hell am I kidding? I gotta go... it's time to get my shopping list together.

Monday Night Heartattack

It wasn't pretty. It shole as shittin' wasn't one of the best games I have ever seen, but damn it, my Chicago Bears are 6-0 for the first time since 1986. Yezzur!!! I luff my d-fense! And that lil baby Devin Hester? He needs an older woman in his life. Brian Urlacher? He could get it AND run for mayor of Chicago... and probably win. He told Lovie Smith they would win. Fatwa... it is written.

2 fingas to the side ya'll

Some Things Don't Change

Recently I was on my fave site Crunk and Disorderly when a post came up showcasing the recent album artwork of one Sean "Puff Doodle Doo" Combs. Said artwork is a depiction of Poofy Doo with a nameless, faceless semi nude model draped over him for his single "Come to Me". Another piece of "artwork" for the cd has Puff the Magic Sampler with his hands down a random woman's draws. That's right, I said draws. The fuck is the point of this sposed to be?

See, this is a problem for me. People love Poofy and seem to want to forgive him anything. Like Jay-Z, this new nigra has a CD to promote. One of the commenters on C&D was all up in arms because he/she said that we were too hard on Puffy. He'd visited a school in San Diego and had gotten on the case of a student there whose grades had begin to fall off. He even went so far as to get the child's pphone number so he could check up on him and make sure everything was ok. Bra fuckin' vo! Do you honestly think he would give a flying rabid fuck about that child if his cd wasn't about to drop? Survey say? Hell Naw!

This commenter also said that "at least Puffenstuff doesn't call women bitches and ho's in his music". Well, let's look at his track record. He's on his 2nd or 3rd baby momma, fucked baby momma #1's BFF (Misa and Kim P. were girls until PuffaLump shagged Kim), shows no signs of marrying said 3rd string baby momma (even though she has publically said she wants to get married) and now to top it all off, he's photographed with a nameless, faceless random ass ho wrapped all around him AND with his hands down said woman's draws? oh HELL no! People seem to forget that this man has 2 children on the way someone while he's standing there with his hands all down the panties of a woman who is not 2nd string baby momma/current sideline ho.

I don't care how you slice it, Puffy might not be calling us bitches or ho's, but the message is just the same. "Girls, it doesn't matter how much education you have or how smart you are. You still just a piece of meat to be used when, where and how I see fit."

To be real, I'd almost prefer he did call me out of my name. At least then I'd see the knives and shit flying at me and could respond accordingly.

Back Again... Sort Of

Hey Peeps! I know it's been awhile since I last posted anything, but Mz Nikki has been sick as a dog. First a cold that didn't want to let go, now a UTI that's got me in so much pain it's hard to sit up for long periods of time. Hopefully by this time next week, I'll be well enough to get back to my usual smart ass comments at all my online hangouts. Until then, ya'll stay crunk!

What A Lady Sposed to Ack Like?

You know, I had a moment recently when it took all my self-control not to grab this young girl in a class I was in and either choke the shit out of her, or hug her. You tell me if I was wrong or right.

I was sitting in on a university level Political Science course last week, and the Professor brought the discussion around to how young people should act in a given situation. He was explaining how an older neighbor of his came at him in a way he didn't appreciate, but that because of the way he was raised (respect your elders, don't speak when grown folks is talkin'... you know how Black/African parents do), he simply told the man that unless one of his kids had his (the Professor's) name, he needed to fall back. All of us had a good laugh at that one, but inevitably, there were three young'uns in the class who just had to take it there.

Professor: "You know when you talk to your Mother, you don't disrepect her, do you?

Hood Rat: "*psh* If she wrong, she get delt just like anybody else!"

*Clutches pearls!*

But wait, it gets better!

Professor: "When you are out in public, you act like you have some home training. A Lady acts like a lady!"

Hood Rat: "Well, Ion't know what a lady ack like. How a lady sposed to ack?"

I looked around at some of the older (read my age) ladies and gentlemen in the class, and they were wearing duplicate looks of consternation. How could this college aged girl not know something so elementary? But then I thought about it. Her mother is probably only about twice her age (if that), so how would she know to teach her daughter to act like a lady when she probably doesn't know how to do it herself?

I walked out of that class feeling a sense of rage at the hopelessness of the youth who will one day be our leaders. Is this what we have to look forward to? If it is, somebody please start praying for all of us now.

He's An On Time G-d!!!

Man have you ever had a day that feels like your birthday, Christmas and New Year's Eve all rolled up into one? Well today is that day for me. I was over visiting my home away from home C&D when what did I hear but that my favorite sanger (yes I said sanger) of all time, Whitney "Nippy" Houston is not only back with us in the land of the living, but she also filed for divorce from that triflin' summabitch she made a mistake of marrying, Bobby "No Real Talent" Brown! I promise you I felt a soul clap! I haven't been this happy since my baby girl was born. Yesssssssssssssssssss Nippy yessssssssssssssssssss!!!!

*falls out in the middle of the aisle in over the top dramatic cunt fashion and is covered with white cloth by the urshers*

My Gawd has heard my prayers and brought this woman back from the edge of darkness and has put her back on the road to regaining her status as the voice of R&B.

I think that we Nippy stans owe a HUGE thank you to Clive Davis and CeCe Winans for helping Nippy come back to us. I guess CeCe and Clive took the words to the song I posted to heart and knew it wasn't just about talkin' a good game. Whatever it was, Nippy is back and doing well... now we just gotta worry about lil Bobbi Kris.

Nippy '07 hummin comin' at'cha!

*catches the Holy Ghost, does a triple backflip down the aisle of the chu'ch, harlem shakin' and shimmyin' like Shug Av'ry*